Sweet Betsey from Pike
Did you ever hear tell of sweet Bestsey from Pike
Who crossed the wide prairies with her lover Ike,
With two yoke of cattle and one spotted hog,
A tall shanghai rooster and an old yeller dog?
They swam the wide rivers and crossed the tall peaks,
And camped on the prairies for weeks upon weeks.
Starvation and cholera, hard work and slaughter,
They reached California spite of hell and high water.
One evening quite early they camped on the Platte,
'Twas near by the road on a green shady flat;
Where Betsey, quite tired, lay down to repose,
While with wonder Ike gazed on his Pike County rose
Out on the prairie one bright starry night,
They broke out the whiskey and Betsey got tight.
She sang and she shouted and danced o'er the plain,
And showed her bare arse to the whole wagon train
The Injuns came down in a wild yelling horde,
And Betsey was scared they would scalp her adored;
Behind the front wagon wheel Betsey did crawl,
And there fought the Injuns with musket and ball
The wagon tipped over with a terrible crash,
And out on the prairie rolled all sorts of trash,
A few little baby clothes, done up with care,
Looked rather suspicious, but 'twas all on the square.
Sweet Betsey got up with a great deal of pain,
And declared she'd go back to Pike County again,
Then Ike heaved a sigh and they fondly embraced,
And she travelled along with his arm round her waist.
The alkali desert was burning and bare,
And Isaac's soul shrank from the death that lurked there:
"Dear Old Pike County, I'll go back to you!"
Says Betsey, "You'll go by yourself if you do!"
They passed the Sierras through mountains of snow,
'Til Old California was sighted below,
Sweet Betsey she hollered, and Ike gave a cheer,
Saying, "Betsey, my darling, I'm a made millioneer!"
A miner said, "Betsey, will you dance with me?"
"I will that, old hoss, if you don't make too free,
But don't dance me hard, do you want to know why?
Doggon you, I'm chock full of strong alkali!"
Long Ike and Sweet Betsey got married, of course,
But Ike, who was jealous, obtained a divorce.
And Betsey, well satisfied, said with a smile,
"I've got six good men waiting within half a mile!"
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