Once there was a waitress in the Prince George Hotel
Her mistress was a lady and her master was a swell
They knew she was a simple girls, and lately from the farm
And so they watched her carefully to keep her from all harm

The Forty Second Fusiliers come marchin’ in to town
And with them come a compliment of rapists of renown
They converted every virgin that came within their spell
But they never made the waitress from the Prince George Hotel

Next come a company of the Prince of Wales Hussars
The piled into the whorehouse and they packed along the bars
Manys a maid and mistress and a wife before them fell
But they never made the waitress from the Prince George Hotel

One day there came a sailor, an ordinary bloke
A-bulging at the trousers with a heart of solid oak
At sea without a woman for seven years or more
There wasn’t any need to ask what he’s a-lookin’ for

He asked her for a candlestick to light his way to bed
He asked for a pillow to rest his weary head
And speaking very gently just as if he meant no harm
He asked her if she’d come to bed just so to keep him warm

She lifted up the blanket and moment there did lie
He was on her, he was in her, in the twinkling of an eye
He was out again and in again and ploughing up a storm
But the only word she said to him, "I hope you’re keepin’ warm!"

Early in the morning the sailor lad arose
Saying, "Here’s a two pound note, my dear, for the damage I have caused
If you have a daughter, bounce ‘er on your knee;
If you have a son, send the bastard out to sea!"

Now she sits beside the dock, a baby on her knee
Waiting for the sailing ships a-comi’ home from sea
Waiting for the jolly tars in navy uniforms
And all she wants to do, my boys, is keep the Navy warm!

Back to the main Songs page . . .