Three Old Whores from Winnepeg
(note: this is not a Civil War period song)

Three old whores from Winnepeg were drinking a sherry wine
Said one of them to the other two, "Yours is smaller than mine!
Oh, take up the sheets, me hearties, water the decks with brine!
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores, none is bigger than mine!

"You’re a liar", said the other old whore, "Mine’s as big as the sea!"
"The battleships sail in and out and are never a bother to me!"
Oh, take up the sheets, me hearties, water the decks with brine!
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores, none is bigger than mine!

"You’re a liar", said the other old whore, "Mine’s as big as the moon!"
"The ships sail in on the first of the year, and never come out ‘til June!"
Oh, take up the sheets, me hearties, water the decks with brine!
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores, none is bigger than mine!

"You’re a liar", said the other old whore, "Mine’s as big as the air!"
"There’s many a ship that sails right in and never tickles a hair!"
Oh, take up the sheets, me hearties, water the decks with brine!
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores, none is bigger than mine!

"You’re a liar", said the first again, "I’d blush to be so small!"
"There’s manys a ship that sails right in – and never comes out at all!"
Oh, take up the sheets, me hearties, water the decks with brine!
Bend to the oars, you lousy whores, none is bigger than mine!

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